*I mean I wouldn’t trust the current idiots either, it will be interesting to see how this all plays out. Will Trump sideline his slimy son in law and elevate the sort of out of favor but still cabinet sycophant Vance to negotiator? Vance may be shifty and ambitious but in no way as corrupt or self interested as Kusher or Witkoff.*
“Iran said it is done dealing with the two emissaries President Donald Trump has tasked with leading negotiations in the Middle East.”
“The country, which Trump began striking over three weeks ago, is not keen on any more attempts at negotiations with Trump’s Special Envoy to the Middle East, Steve Witkoff, or Trump’s son-in-law, Jared Kushner, both of whom were leading the nuclear negotiations with Iran before the war.”
“At the time that Trump launched his deadly war in Iran, the U.S. and Iran were engaged in negotiations over the country’s nuclear program.”
“Since the war was launched, the Iranian regime has viewed those negotiations, headed by Witkoff and Kushner, as a front by the Trump administration to trick Iran into thinking they were negotiating in good faith, when the U.S. really just wanted to attack.”
“With the previous negotiating team, there’s no chance,” one diplomatic source told the Guardian. “The Iranian side regards the request for negotiations as another round of deception for the US-Israeli regime to find out a loophole to aggravate the strikes again.”
“The source noted that Iran sees Vance as a more acceptable diplomatic figure than Witkoff and Kushner, especially as Vance is, at his core, a skeptic of U.S. military action in the Middle East.”
“If the negotiations are going to have any outcome, JD Vance should join,” the source told the outlet. “With Witkoff and Kushner, nothing will come out of it. We have seen that in the past.”
ScotTheDuck on
They want to negotiate with diplomacy master James Dolan “have you said thank you” Vance instead of Witkoff and Kushner. How fucked up were their meetings pre war?
allenahansen on
Replacing a slimy little shit with a constipated turd.
False_Cookie8226 on
Holy shit, Iran **is** playing 4d chess. JD Vance will be forced to tow the Trump line in Iran that he clearly disagrees with. And the truly brilliant part, Trump will be pissed that Iran respects JD Vance more than the people Trump personally chose.
literallytwisted on
Trump has enough remaining animal cunning to know Vance is waiting for that last stroke so he may be hoping Iran assassinates him, That would be an excellent excuse to expand the war and interfere with the midterms at home.
And Vance would be the second Vice President Trump tried to get rid of so there’s precedence.
robotdesignwerks on
Iran must have invented a couch bomb.
Imaginary-Ad-7919 on
Ultimatums in politics rarely mean what they sound like, especially when Trump is involved.
JiveChicken00 on
They may be evil and bloodthirsty, but they are not fools.
travio on
Bad headline. Iran is refusing to deal with the chucklefuck real estate idiots Trump sent to negotiate with Iran and Russia. That makes sense. Their incompetence and misunderstanding of the nuclear issue might have caused this whole thing.
Iran wants to negotiate with the veep instead.
That’s a double edged sword for Vance. The republican establishment wants Rubio as their candidate in 28. Vance could seize this opportunity to improve his chances of getting the nomination, but the risks are greater than the reward. Iran isn’t going to roll over and give Trump everything he wants. Trump is more likely to blame Vance when he can’t get those promises.
This is a lose/lose situation for Vance.
GreenWithEvil__33 on
Iran wants JD Vance to stop wearing Eyeliner
H4NKSCORP10 on
“Look just…just tell JD that our couch cushions were there before he last came to visit and now they’re gone so, you know…not pointing any fingers here but…yeah the couch was a gift from Muhammed’s great, great, great grandniece’s nephew’s son’s landscaper which officially makes it a holy relic so we just want it back. Please make sure to dry clean the covers because we know what probably went down with them. Thanks.”
returnofthecursed on
Vance is a serial liar and an opportunist. If he can say something that he believes will help him, he’ll say it without a single thought to the truthfulness or validity of his statement.
It’s worked for him in the US because his voters are irredeemable morons driven by hatred and an irrational sense of victimhood. I don’t think it will work as well in Iran, but who knows. Maybe they’ll appreciate his wormy lip fake smile.
MARIOpronoucedMA-RJO on
Iran is going to drag this out until the 2028 elections so they can deal with a Democratic Administration.
Tommyblahblah on
Wow. They didn’t couch their remarks.
No_Somewhere_7109 on
This is the sort of thing that will kill Vance in 2028, the same way Harris being unable to divorce from Biden on Gaza helped her lose in ’24.
There’s no winning for him.
Negative_Gravitas on
Holy shit. Genius move.
smithpd1 on
Iran is rejecting Trump’s Special Envoy to the Middle East, Steve Witkoff and Trump’s son-in-law, Jared Kushner. Those two guys are incompetent to be leading these negotiations or any others, such as with Russia and Ukraine. This is solid evidence that Iran is much smarter than Trump.
DarthLysergis on
Omg please for the love of everything hilarious. I hope they invite him over and kidnap him.
AcanthisittaNo6653 on
They heard JD was a hillbilly couch fucker and want to see what that looks like.
india2wallst on
RIP couches in Tehran.
ClaytonRook on
The deal will be this: JD invokes the 25th amendment to become president and all will be forgiven. The cash must flow lol
Broken-Digital-Clock on
They should demand to talk to Obama. It would at least be funny to watch maga rage.
Vekthelar on
Calling for Vance is just such hilarious troll move. Vance can’t win this, Trump would turn on him so fast if he “fixed” anything and took some of the attention away. They picked Vance over Rubio or anyone else specifically to play on the insecurities in their administration. What a shit show this all is.
E6350 on
Paywalls SUCK!
Virtual-Squirrel-725 on
It’s a power move to try to emasculate the pedophile-in-chief and elevate Vance.
ester4brook on
They should have insisted on Obama as being the US representative for negotiations.
mildurajackaroo on
Genius move..JD has been conspicuous by his absence during all critical stages of Trump’s presidency…almost like he doesn’t want to be part of any misadventure.
He is being groomed for 2028. But screw him, he isn’t going to Peter Thiel his way to the top.
hbtljose13 on
US trying to cause a revolution in Iran but Iran trying to start one in the White House 💀💀💀
RobbysYourFathersBro on
Could this be a way for Iran to alienate Vance from Trump? I doubt Vance is trusted or liked by Trump and any perceived superiority that Vance might have, like being picked by Iran, is surely going to piss-off Trump. Delicious.
Alternatively, Vance, if he has any smarts, wants to put all the distance between himself and the Iran conflict. If Trump goes along with Iran and tries to pin ending the war on Vance by appointing him as chief negotiator, I can see Vance doing a new phone who’s dis routine, likely to further fracture the Trump – Vance relationship. Yummy-yummy in my tummy.
In the end, this war is going to fuck us all. So as always, Fuck the Iranian regime, fuck Netanyahu, fuck guy-liner Vance and as always Fuck Trump the Pedo.
Release the files.
niknacks on
At least we got our best couch fucker on the case now. They may want to add the plastic sheets to some of their upholstery first though.
turb0_encapsulator on
Iran understands how to fuck with the Trump Administration better than Democrats. The latter should take notes.
Whatever801 on
This is the most wanted JD Vance has ever felt.
PeopleRFuckingDumb on
“Bring ya boy Vance” Ayatollah said
According_Jeweler404 on
“Send couch-fucker or nobody at all.”
Dalambo on
Honestly, it kind of feels like “we don’t want to deal with you, outgoing manager… We want to deal with the guy who will take your job when you’re gone.” They want Vance to negotiate it now so he’ll honor it when he inherits grandpa’s job later.
newssource12 on
So you ever get the feeling they’re playing chess – and we’re not.
ActuatorSmall7746 on
Trump doesn’t have any credible person to send, so they asked for Vance to humiliate him.
Trump and his sycophants have no idea of the ideology/culture of the people in the Middle East. They think it’s all about money and show of force. He and his kind are about FAFO.
TequilaAndWeed on
Wait until he finds out the Ottoman Empire doesn’t involve furniture …
ecwworldchampion on
You don’t think they’re going to try and…. nah. Never mind….
But it would be ok with me if they did try to… nope, forget about it. Just daydreaming.
But it would be neat.
No, no, not that.
But that would be cool, too.
skullfrucker on
They’re going to make Vance fuck a goat on live TV as part of the settlement. If he does this, I’ll actually give him credit for doing more for this country than the turd currently in power now.
gdex86 on
This is becoming the most embarrassing military loss and diplomatic boondoggle in American history. At least with Afghanistan and Iraq 2 the military was able to actually achieve some goal even if they were unable to maintain it.
Here they didnt even have forces in place to hold one of the most key waterways on the globe, have been unable to actually stop military actions by Iran, have lead to huge devastation to unrelated parties, and now are debating boots on the ground in the one thing conservatives could point to as a positive for this administration.
JackieDaytona77 on
This has a mafia style hit written all over it.
Extension-Pick8310 on
Are we supposed to not like Iran? Because they’re making this really, really hard.
43 Comments
*I mean I wouldn’t trust the current idiots either, it will be interesting to see how this all plays out. Will Trump sideline his slimy son in law and elevate the sort of out of favor but still cabinet sycophant Vance to negotiator? Vance may be shifty and ambitious but in no way as corrupt or self interested as Kusher or Witkoff.*
“Iran said it is done dealing with the two emissaries President Donald Trump has tasked with leading negotiations in the Middle East.”
“The country, which Trump began striking over three weeks ago, is not keen on any more attempts at negotiations with Trump’s Special Envoy to the Middle East, Steve Witkoff, or Trump’s son-in-law, Jared Kushner, both of whom were leading the nuclear negotiations with Iran before the war.”
“Iran now says it will only engage in negotiations with Vice President J.D. Vance, according to a report in [The Guardian](https://www.theguardian.com/world/2026/mar/24/pakistan-army-chief-iran-peace-talks-trump-call).”
“At the time that Trump launched his deadly war in Iran, the U.S. and Iran were engaged in negotiations over the country’s nuclear program.”
“Since the war was launched, the Iranian regime has viewed those negotiations, headed by Witkoff and Kushner, as a front by the Trump administration to trick Iran into thinking they were negotiating in good faith, when the U.S. really just wanted to attack.”
“With the previous negotiating team, there’s no chance,” one diplomatic source told the Guardian. “The Iranian side regards the request for negotiations as another round of deception for the US-Israeli regime to find out a loophole to aggravate the strikes again.”
“The source noted that Iran sees Vance as a more acceptable diplomatic figure than Witkoff and Kushner, especially as Vance is, at his core, a skeptic of U.S. military action in the Middle East.”
“If the negotiations are going to have any outcome, JD Vance should join,” the source told the outlet. “With Witkoff and Kushner, nothing will come out of it. We have seen that in the past.”
They want to negotiate with diplomacy master James Dolan “have you said thank you” Vance instead of Witkoff and Kushner. How fucked up were their meetings pre war?
Replacing a slimy little shit with a constipated turd.
Holy shit, Iran **is** playing 4d chess. JD Vance will be forced to tow the Trump line in Iran that he clearly disagrees with. And the truly brilliant part, Trump will be pissed that Iran respects JD Vance more than the people Trump personally chose.
Trump has enough remaining animal cunning to know Vance is waiting for that last stroke so he may be hoping Iran assassinates him, That would be an excellent excuse to expand the war and interfere with the midterms at home.
And Vance would be the second Vice President Trump tried to get rid of so there’s precedence.
Iran must have invented a couch bomb.
Ultimatums in politics rarely mean what they sound like, especially when Trump is involved.
They may be evil and bloodthirsty, but they are not fools.
Bad headline. Iran is refusing to deal with the chucklefuck real estate idiots Trump sent to negotiate with Iran and Russia. That makes sense. Their incompetence and misunderstanding of the nuclear issue might have caused this whole thing.
Iran wants to negotiate with the veep instead.
That’s a double edged sword for Vance. The republican establishment wants Rubio as their candidate in 28. Vance could seize this opportunity to improve his chances of getting the nomination, but the risks are greater than the reward. Iran isn’t going to roll over and give Trump everything he wants. Trump is more likely to blame Vance when he can’t get those promises.
This is a lose/lose situation for Vance.
Iran wants JD Vance to stop wearing Eyeliner
“Look just…just tell JD that our couch cushions were there before he last came to visit and now they’re gone so, you know…not pointing any fingers here but…yeah the couch was a gift from Muhammed’s great, great, great grandniece’s nephew’s son’s landscaper which officially makes it a holy relic so we just want it back. Please make sure to dry clean the covers because we know what probably went down with them. Thanks.”
Vance is a serial liar and an opportunist. If he can say something that he believes will help him, he’ll say it without a single thought to the truthfulness or validity of his statement.
It’s worked for him in the US because his voters are irredeemable morons driven by hatred and an irrational sense of victimhood. I don’t think it will work as well in Iran, but who knows. Maybe they’ll appreciate his wormy lip fake smile.
Iran is going to drag this out until the 2028 elections so they can deal with a Democratic Administration.
Wow. They didn’t couch their remarks.
This is the sort of thing that will kill Vance in 2028, the same way Harris being unable to divorce from Biden on Gaza helped her lose in ’24.
There’s no winning for him.
Holy shit. Genius move.
Iran is rejecting Trump’s Special Envoy to the Middle East, Steve Witkoff and Trump’s son-in-law, Jared Kushner. Those two guys are incompetent to be leading these negotiations or any others, such as with Russia and Ukraine. This is solid evidence that Iran is much smarter than Trump.
Omg please for the love of everything hilarious. I hope they invite him over and kidnap him.
They heard JD was a hillbilly couch fucker and want to see what that looks like.
RIP couches in Tehran.
The deal will be this: JD invokes the 25th amendment to become president and all will be forgiven. The cash must flow lol
They should demand to talk to Obama. It would at least be funny to watch maga rage.
Calling for Vance is just such hilarious troll move. Vance can’t win this, Trump would turn on him so fast if he “fixed” anything and took some of the attention away. They picked Vance over Rubio or anyone else specifically to play on the insecurities in their administration. What a shit show this all is.
Paywalls SUCK!
It’s a power move to try to emasculate the pedophile-in-chief and elevate Vance.
They should have insisted on Obama as being the US representative for negotiations.
Genius move..JD has been conspicuous by his absence during all critical stages of Trump’s presidency…almost like he doesn’t want to be part of any misadventure.
He is being groomed for 2028. But screw him, he isn’t going to Peter Thiel his way to the top.
US trying to cause a revolution in Iran but Iran trying to start one in the White House 💀💀💀
Could this be a way for Iran to alienate Vance from Trump? I doubt Vance is trusted or liked by Trump and any perceived superiority that Vance might have, like being picked by Iran, is surely going to piss-off Trump. Delicious.
Alternatively, Vance, if he has any smarts, wants to put all the distance between himself and the Iran conflict. If Trump goes along with Iran and tries to pin ending the war on Vance by appointing him as chief negotiator, I can see Vance doing a new phone who’s dis routine, likely to further fracture the Trump – Vance relationship. Yummy-yummy in my tummy.
In the end, this war is going to fuck us all. So as always, Fuck the Iranian regime, fuck Netanyahu, fuck guy-liner Vance and as always Fuck Trump the Pedo.
Release the files.
At least we got our best couch fucker on the case now. They may want to add the plastic sheets to some of their upholstery first though.
Iran understands how to fuck with the Trump Administration better than Democrats. The latter should take notes.
This is the most wanted JD Vance has ever felt.
“Bring ya boy Vance” Ayatollah said
“Send couch-fucker or nobody at all.”
Honestly, it kind of feels like “we don’t want to deal with you, outgoing manager… We want to deal with the guy who will take your job when you’re gone.” They want Vance to negotiate it now so he’ll honor it when he inherits grandpa’s job later.
So you ever get the feeling they’re playing chess – and we’re not.
Trump doesn’t have any credible person to send, so they asked for Vance to humiliate him.
Trump and his sycophants have no idea of the ideology/culture of the people in the Middle East. They think it’s all about money and show of force. He and his kind are about FAFO.
Wait until he finds out the Ottoman Empire doesn’t involve furniture …
You don’t think they’re going to try and…. nah. Never mind….
But it would be ok with me if they did try to… nope, forget about it. Just daydreaming.
But it would be neat.
No, no, not that.
But that would be cool, too.
They’re going to make Vance fuck a goat on live TV as part of the settlement. If he does this, I’ll actually give him credit for doing more for this country than the turd currently in power now.
This is becoming the most embarrassing military loss and diplomatic boondoggle in American history. At least with Afghanistan and Iraq 2 the military was able to actually achieve some goal even if they were unable to maintain it.
Here they didnt even have forces in place to hold one of the most key waterways on the globe, have been unable to actually stop military actions by Iran, have lead to huge devastation to unrelated parties, and now are debating boots on the ground in the one thing conservatives could point to as a positive for this administration.
This has a mafia style hit written all over it.
Are we supposed to not like Iran? Because they’re making this really, really hard.