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  2. Hopefully the letter contained a few illustrations for Trump to color in. It would be best if it were somehow written in the form of a pop-up book. There’s nothing like a nice little surprise to hold his attention. He could pull a tab and a Patriot would launch, lift a flap and see the syphilitic gnome in the Kremlin plotting to murder children, that sort of thing.

  3. Trump – “Thank you for purchasing billions of dollars worth of weapons systems from us. We regret to tell you that we cannot sell you ammunition for these weapons.”

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