Close Menu
United States

D.C. ‘sandwich guy’ not guilty of assaulting a federal agent, jury finds after Trump DOJ political prosecution

Share.
View 47 Comments

47 Comments

  5. chuckangel on

    heard this a few moments ago, sung to “I shot the sheriff”

    > I threw the sandwich… but I did not throw potato chips

    I’m amused, at least.

  6. literallytwisted on

    Good! Border patrol should go back to the border where they belong to avoid further sandwich incidents.

  7. LateBreaking-7782 on

    In another article I read that they deliberated for several hours. I wonder if it was over so fast they decided to drag it out to make it look legit.

  9. Dull-Machine5268 on

    Someone pour another martini for Pirro.

    After chalking up so many Ls, she’s gonna need it!

  12. slow_walker22m on

    US Attorney can’t even convict on a misdemeanor, holy shit. 

    This is like the Sixers getting shut down by a rec league team lmao. 

  15. YogurtclosetOwn4786 on

    I can’t believe the court actually provided each juror with one of the exact same weapons at lunchtime

  17. badwolf1013 on

    The Left is going to get so much mileage out of this chucklehead “agent’s” testimony. I bet they put this guy in as remote a location as possible, probably making sandwich runs for his team.

  24. TheBlackCat13 on

    When the officer feels the need to flagrantly commit perjury on a misdemeanor case you know you have a bad case

  29. ClassicHando on

    These motherfuckers expect to be able to shoot a priest in the face with a grenade but a ham and cheese on wheat will take them down. Is mustard a war crime now?

  31. DrBoots on

    Threw a footlong so hard the goon felt it through his ballistic protection vest.
    The sammich Ex-plo-ded!

    Guy has to have an arm like a cannon. Any pro-baseball recruiters getting in on this guy?

  33. SMIrving on

    Sooner or later citizens on grand juries are going to learn that they are the first line of defense against political prosecution tyranny and refuse to bring indictments and may even start demanding investigations of those who try to bring them.

  34. Any_Apartment6771 on

    *Inside the jury room*

    Jurror #1: “What kind of sandwich was it?”
    Juror #6: “Oh! It was one of those hot subs on the artisan bread, and three types of cheese! One of those you get at that place down the street!”
    *Collective oohs and ahhs from the room*
    Juror #11: “OH, I love those! They’re so good!”
    Jury Foreman: “You mean that guy wasted one of those sandwiches? Well, that’s the only crime I see. Assault? Hell, that agent was gifted a damn good sammich!”
    *All nod*
    Jury Foreman: “I say we vote!”
    Juror #7: “Wait! Let’s take our time here. Maybe we can get the court to pony up to get some “sandwiches” for lunch.”
    *Mischievous smirk on her face*
    Jury Foreman: *Rubbing his belly* “That’s brilliant!”

  41. Catspaw129 on

    If it were a real sub (not a Subway) he’d have been convicted of committing a felony on a sammich.

    /s

  43. FoxyInTheSnow on

    They’ll regret letting this lunch pail terrorist off, though I imagine the wokerati will relish it.

    But it won’t be funny when the streets are awash with people open-carrying hoagies, bánh mìs, tuna melts, and even restricted deli items like bagels with cream cheese and lox! Think of the density!

    Law abiding citizens who eschew the convenience of a diner Rueben or club house for a proper sit-down meal are not chopped liver and will not be pleased to find themselves in a hot sandwich war pickle. Just this afternoon, my son, the poor boy, was walking home from school when he got winged by a Po’ Boy.

  44. jgandfeed on

    Lol. Lmao even

    Anyway, I’m having soup for dinner. Should I get a sandwich instead? In memory of the tragic victim?

  47. manniesalado on

    So, trial by jury which led to acquittal. I would like to see the final cost for that failed and very stupid prosecution.

Leave A Reply