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  1. President Donald Trump has threatened to deploy troops to Chicago over a distressed shopping center that does not exist.

    “The Miracle Mile Shopping Center in Chicago, once considered our Nation’s BEST, now has a more than 28% vacancy factor, and is ready to call it quits unless something is done about the murder and crime, which is prevalent throughout the City,” the 79-year-old president raged in a Truth Social post just past midnight on Tuesday.

    “CALL IN THE TROOPS, FAST, BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE!” he added.

    There is no “Miracle Mile Shopping Center” in Illinois’ largest city.

    Read the full story, [here](https://www.thedailybeast.com/president-donald-trump-79-demands-troop-deployment-over-fictional-chicago-shopping-center/).

  2. I swear I thought they were going to say Starcourt Mall, and it would be viral marketing for Stranger Things season 5.

  3. This plan seems flawless. Military occupation always boosts high-end retail. I just came back from a trip to Fallujah mall where I got my Rolex and Gucci fit.

  4. His age has nothing to do with this, tbh.

    He’s always been stupid and a sucker/source for conspiracy theories.

  5. CrimsonFeetofKali on

    Yeah, growing up in Chicago and there are just so many memories of the once great Miracle Mile Shopping Center. Grab a Hot Sam, hit up Warehouse Records, an Orange Julius to wash it down, a slice from Sbarro, get a poster from Spencer’s. Now it’s just meth addicts and trying not to get shot. I wonder if Chess King is still hanging on. /s

  6. DistractedPhoenix on

    The magnificent mile is a real thing…but the vacancy rate has little to do with crime. More so sky high rents and a shift in business.

    Over the last thirty years there was only one store on the msg mile that was profitable, the original Chicago Apple Store. The rest all operated at a loss as a marketing tool. Companies are shifting from that model and therefore vacancies are up.

  7. A-Helpful-Flamingo on

    I don’t think he’s confused. He’s a petty, narcissistic ahole who is also incredibly dumb. He heard something he didn’t like and reacted accordingly. This is what makes his mental decline so much worse. Whatever sliver of a filter (that he had strictly related to make himself look good/not incriminate himself) is gone. We’re basically dealing with his id.

  8. Come on people. There is ample evidence tRump is mentally unable to continue as President of the United States. It’s time for the 25th…………….. Congress needs to get off their lazy asses and get this done!!!!!

  9. The late, great Dr Hannibal Lector would be disappointed to see Donald’s rapid mental decline.

  10. scrotalsmoothie on

    What is he going to make the troops buy fictional stuff (with their own money) on fictional layaway and corner the fictional market?

  11. Was he watching the Blues Brother? Becasue the mall in that movie took quite the beating. And, obviously, the Chicago police were unable to handle the situation.

  12. RoosterMedical on

    If Trump is so concerned about stores closing then he should send the military to the house of Jeff Bezos.

  13. Most_Victory1661 on

    That Paul Blart guy he’s good let him run ICE. Get him on the phone.

    Mr President is time for your nap and your diaper change

  14. If you think things are bad now wait until a post midterm election Trump is talking about democrat blood in streets and that illegal aliens are putting chips in food. We’re heading there dementia is not a pretty disease.

  15. Areas in Chicago that people are afraid and know not to frequent are not downtown. The gestopo has not tried their tactics in high crime areas in Chicago. The brown shirts are afraid of actual crime and violence.

    The “magnificent mile” in Chicago is an extraordinarily high rent area along Michigan Avenue. It’s not a shopping mall, it’s multiple freestanding, high end, touristy flavored stores. Gimmicks such as “the largest in the world” like Nike, Starbucks, American Girl superstores. The major crimes are not happening anywhere near this area.

  16. RememberJefferies on

    28% vacancy… IN A MALL!!!??

    Someone needs to tell Chester Cheeto that it’s not 1990 anymore and malls have been dying for 2 decades now. That’s capitalism, pal!

  17. PrinceTrollestia on

    Chicagoan here. He’s misremembering several things, indicating a previously sharp (or at least knowledgeable about real estate) mind now in the throws of dementia:

    There isn’t a “Miracle Mile Mall” but there is a stretch of downtown Chicago we call the “Magnificent Mile,” on Michigan Avenue. It’s an upscale shopping district, kind of like 5th Avenue in Manhattan.

    Magnificent Mile not only has stand alone boutiques, but has several malls on it, the most famous being [Water Tower Place](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Water_Tower_Place), which is [now a lot less occupied than it used to be](https://www.costar.com/article/1645543544/owner-of-chicagos-water-tower-place-moving-forward-with-plans-to-reduce-retail-space).

    There is another mall, Chicago Place, that [spectacularly failed and was redeveloped](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chicago_Place).

    So it’s not so much he’s making shit up, it’s just that he remembers snippets of real estate development in Chicago in the 2000s and is filling in the blanks in his head with unabashed bravado.

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