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  1. From the article:

    Vice President Vance on Wednesday invoked President Trump’s “America First” policy, joking that because Thanksgiving is a U.S. holiday, the meat of choice is also “uniquely” American: Turkey.

    “Think about turkey. Who really likes … be honest with yourself, who really likes turkey?” Vance told troops on Wednesday during remarks from Fort Campbell, Ky. “You are all full of sh–. Everybody who raised your hands.”

    “Here’s how I know that every single one of you who raised your hand is lying to me. How many times do you roast an 18-pound turkey just randomly? Just you know, a nice summer afternoon, we’re going to go get an 18-pound turkey.”

    Goddamn he’s an idiot

  2. Eastern-Rabbit-3696 on

    There are millions of people who go to the grocery store to buy turkey deli meats every fucking day you fucking shit

  3. Tell me your family can’t cook without saying your family can’t cook. Turkey is good as hell if someone who is actually competent cooks it.

  4. There _seems_ to be a correlation between conservatism and weak, flat attempts at humor.

    I mean, I wasn’t there, maybe his timing or affect or tone of voice made it hilarious …. yeah, that’s a stretch.

  5. Vegetable-Kiwi-4675 on

    He’s such a pathetic wannabe, it’s embarrassing. This weirdo changed his name 3-4 times. If that’s not an early sign of pathology, I don’t know what is. He thinks that because the podcast MAGA bros laugh at what he says he is actually a comedian. Like he imagines people going, “Oh shit, JD WENT THERE lmao!!”

  6. Typical conservative take. ‘If I don’t like something, it’s shit, and everyone else believes the same thing I do, and if they tell you different, they’re lying’… What an ignorant, smug tool.

    Is that why they sell turkey legs at almost every carnival, fair, amusement park and public event across the entire country?

  7. Sorry JD, I know you are trying to brown-nose, but there is no way you can say something stupid enough to make Trump look smart by comparsion.

    But I will give you a gold star for effort.

  8. Oldschoolhype2 on

    Bros been eating dry unseasoned nonsmoked Turkey his whole life. I’d hate it too if that was me.

  9. oceans_between_us on

    I’m so tired of people admitting their family can’t cook. If I was JD Vance’s hillbilly granny I would be really upset right now >:(

  10. Good point, there, JD. On a nice summer afternoon, most people prefer putting an entire hog or an entire cow in their oven.

    Stick to being a punchline, instead of delivering them. That’s your lane, trumplicker.

  11. Relevant-Ad-2349 on

    God, Vance. is so awkward. He can’t order a donut, he fucks couches, and he can’t tell a joke. Dude really thinks he’s so funny and charismatic – really, dude rolled a 1 on his rizz.

    I love turkey. Club sandwiches, dude, for life.

  12. MrPantsyFlants on

    If, at Thanksgiving time, a black guy said he hates turkey, it would be Republican Apocalypse for the America hating black guy. It’s the white couch fucker so it’s cool.

  13. Turkey deli meat, turkey bacon, turkey sausage, ground turkey, turkey burgers, and probably others I haven’t heard about or eaten. Like, I love turkey.

  14. >“Think about turkey. Who really likes … be honest with yourself, who really likes turkey?” Vance told troops on Wednesday during remarks from Fort Campbell, Ky. “You are all full of sh–. Everybody who raised your hands.”

    >“Here’s how I know that every single one of you who raised your hand is lying to me. How many times do you roast an 18-pound turkey just randomly? Just you know, a nice summer afternoon, we’re going to go get an 18-pound turkey.”

    “You claim you like hamburgers but how many times have you bought and cooked a whole 1,500-pound cow? Curious.”

    Is this some kind of maga seinfeld millennial comedy routine? What a freak

  15. -VP of America thinks Turkey can only be made by cooking an entire turkey….

    This guy went to Yale? Or is it he has never been around regular people in his richboy lifestyle his entire life?

  16. FontaineHoofHolder on

    Texas BBQ makes some pretty legendary turkey I’m sure all the amosexual, highchair with wheels, coal rolling pitmasters will renounce their “can’t quit you” love for the wannabe mascara Mussolini.

  17. I don’t think he can really insult anyone’s taste in food considering he utterly failed at the simple task of ordering fucking donuts.

    What an absolute scrotum of a human being.

  18. I’ve found that these people only mention specifically weird things like this when there is a specific political reason behind it.

    Perhaps there was a story this morning on the news about how only 40% of people could afford turkey this year because of trump-flation. Trumpers then have to make an excuse for it in every convo to distract from the real reason.

    “Well turkey consumption is down this year cuz TURKEY SUCKS!”

  19. AvariceAndApocalypse on

    Avocado, Turkey, bacon, and tomato sandwich is the best year round. What a clown couch fucker.

  20. AdmiralHomebrewers on

    When George Bush Senior started he didn’t like broccoli, it was considered out of touch, and an unbecoming statement from a president. He was widely criticized, and it was heavily covered in the media. 

    Times change, I guess.

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