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  1. ilevelconcrete on

    Look, while you certainly can’t rule out the possibility that the timing here is to prevent market volatility from some bad news, we also mustn’t forget that Trump is also incredibly lazy and might just want to watch TV until then.

  2. Iran is now the 51st State.
    Gas prices are dropping.
    Job numbers are the best they’ve ever been.
    My approval rating holds steady at 99%
    And I’m adding my name to the Kennedy Space Center.
    Covfefe!

  3. ElysiumSprouts on

    So I should wait until tomorrow to buy more index funds? The Trump effect tends to push stocks down down down.

  4. UnobviousDiver on

    He’s going to try and calm markets and provide a simple short term goal to help make this war palatable to the American people. He will also go off script and fuck up his speech with with incoherent rambling.

  5. Secret_Research_7185 on

    Maybe he’ll announce an Executive Order demanding that the Dow goes back up above 50,000 points !

  6. Hairy_Muff305 on

    “Don’t be a panican, we’re all going to be so rich that we won’t know how to spend it! Look at these curtains….”

  7. Diligent-Wave-4150 on

    Don’t buy gas, ride horses will be the statement before he starts pooping endlessly.

  8. JaDonYoutube on

    Let me guess: Joe Biden, immigration, no inflation, best job market we have ever seen, our 401ks are going to the moon

  9. Gotta wait for his family and friends to buy and sell at the right price before announcing something that will shock the market and make it trend in a way that will benefit those with advanced knowledge.

  10. Releasing all the oil from the SPR and some BS about insuring ships in the straight. Probably also an EO to “boost” domestic production. Drill baby Drill. Even though itll take like 3 yrs, lol.

  11. “None of this is my fault. It’s all Biden’s fault and Obama’s. Thank you for coming”.

  12. jayfeather31 on

    Considering this is happening after the stock market is closed, it’s a reasonable bet to assume this isn’t good.

  13. Trump:

    * We’re winning
    * We’re invading Cuba soon
    * Drafts? Never heard of it but sounds interesting.

  14. redinthahead on

    Check out Prairie Operating Co (PROP). It’s a small-cap driller focused on the DJ Basin (Colorado). Today, it saw a 291% spike in call option volume.

    For a company of that size, that is institutional flow or “information leakage.” If Trump walks out there and starts talking about Executive Orders for fast-tracking domestic production or tax credits for U.S. shale, these $2.00 calls are going to print 500% by tomorrow morning.

    The “friends” are already positioned. He’s just going out there to provide the catalyst. Watch the after-hours price action on the small-cap energy tickers; that’s where the real move is.

  15. “I am announcing my immediate resignation as President of the United States, due to the fact that I am way out of my depth & have no idea what I am doing. Thank you for your attention to the matter.”

  16. He’s probably going to announce that we are going to nuke them unless they get congress to pass the SAVE act.

  17. Started a war, tanked the market, spiked gas prices. Still hasn’t addressed the nation like a president should.

    Not that I care to watch him ramble and slur from the Oval but just to point what a lazy piece of shit this man is.

  18. roadsidefoto on

    My prediction: he’s gonna say something fucking stupid, then follow it up with something more fucking stupid.

  19. ViolettaQueso on

    Breaking from MSNow-Trump saying “war is almost over. All goals met.” Likely that 5:30 EST/2:30PST presser is going to be even more confusion.

    I’m laughing maniacally and uncomfortably. This stuff is all just so ridiculously evil.

  20. “Joe Biden just used his auto pen to become the new Ayatollah of Iran…and he shit my pants.”

  21. Anyone else notice that the announcement of this press conference was preceded by a 1 hour call with Putin this morning?

  22. id_rather_b_painting on

    He’s going to announce the special military operation is over, and we’ve negotiated a deal with Iran (neither is true).

  23. Yes it’s all Biden’s fault while you’re rotting in a golf cart when 7 people died for your illegal war.

  24. Flat-Emergency4891 on

    He is a loser. Broke the economy and plunged us into war. Sounds like a Republican.

  25. After Intel surfaced that Putin was helping Iran kill Americans, Trump calls Putin for advice and chats for an hour.

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