A bruised Donald Trump has bragged that he could live to the age of 200—if only he quit junk food.
As the conflict in the Middle East escalates, the 79-year-old president headlined a ceremony for the U.S. Naval Academy football team on Friday, where he talked up his increasingly costly war with Iran, slammed Democratic presidents Joe Biden and Barack Obama, and boasted about his administration cracking down on press freedom.
But partway through his speech, the president invoked disgraced former White House physician Ronny Jackson to make the wild claim that he’s the “healthiest” U.S. president in recent history.
Acknowledging Jackson as one of the guests, Trump recalled a time when the press asked the doctor-turned-congressman who was the healthiest of the three presidents Jackson worked for: George W. Bush, Barack Obama, or Trump.
“He said, ‘President Donald J Trump by far. If he didn’t eat junk food, he’d live to 200 years old,’” Trump claimed. “And I love this guy.”
Not even Satan himself could keep Trump out of Hell that long. He managed to keep Kissinger out for a full century, but that was pushing it. There’s no way Cheeto makes it another 5 years. And that’s probably being too generous.
EatRichGrains on
Dementia Don is denentiaing.
Jeremisio on
That’s the biggest threat he has ever made
youngcy24 on
That would be great actually, he can rot away in prison for 120 years!
BlotchComics on
“No one lives forever, no one. But with advances in modern science and my high level income, it’s not crazy to think I can live to be 245, maybe 300.” – ~~Ricky Bobby~~ Donald Trump
Colonel-Mooseknuckle on
I don’t disagree. The man is a human cockroach that thrives on hate. We probably will have his head in a jar, Futurama style, for the rest of eternity.
PennysWorthOfTea on
I can see Miller & Vance conspiring & giving Trump pills made of rat poison saying it’s a “Special Longevity Drug”. Bonus if the bottle is covered in gold foil.
DirectCranberryy on
He probably met with some Silicon Valley “Immortalists.” There’s a whole group of tech billionaires convinced that we’re at the “Escape Velocity” for aging. If Trump buys into the “Med-Bed” conspiracy theories, he’ll say anything to sound like he’s found the Holy Grail.
37GreaterThan4547 on
They are going to make a “digital self” with AI. When he goes, MAGA dies with him. Christofacianity will take a huge hit and the Grand Old Pedo party will never recover. So I promise you, AI trump is in the works.
Additional_Quiet2600 on
He’s even crazier than Kim Jong Un.
Fair72 on
Sure! Pedophile for life
Cute-Ad2879 on
Let me guess. Ivermectin?
FormerUsenetUser on
Because there are so many people who have lived to 200 just because they eat healthy diets. Looks like *I* will live to be 200!
Junior-Addendum88 on
That would be great, 100 years in prison.
ckglle3lle on
Trump’s health has been an interesting side plot. Some days he looks and sounds completely gone but other days he seems basically “fine”, faded and still saying stupid gibberish but not at death’s door.
If he does have health issues, it appears he has more or less effectively been treating/managing. Main thing with it all is that if it were as bad as some say, he’d be way further along by now. He’d be canceling golf and pressers, he’d go unseen for weeks at a time etc. Pretty much as long as he is still keeping a nominal schedule, even as light and structured as it is, he’s probably “fine”.
I don’t think anyone would be at all surprised if something just happened one day, but otherwise he may well shamble along for while yet, despite it all.
TheorySudden5996 on
Oh so he’s dying
Garlicluvr on
I hope to see this post very soon in r/agedlikemilk.
whichwitch9 on
Whatever Trump says, he does the opposite.
This is a sign his last checkup didn’t go well. RfK jr is definitely going to act as his Rasputin here and sell him whatever he’ll believe to make him feel better
CoastingUphill on
Oh he’s definitely been told by his doctor that he’s dying.
Ricky-Spanish-31 on
Since he lies about everything, I bet he’ll be dead in 3 months.
24 Comments
A bruised Donald Trump has bragged that he could live to the age of 200—if only he quit junk food.
As the conflict in the Middle East escalates, the 79-year-old president headlined a ceremony for the U.S. Naval Academy football team on Friday, where he talked up his increasingly costly war with Iran, slammed Democratic presidents Joe Biden and Barack Obama, and boasted about his administration cracking down on press freedom.
But partway through his speech, the president invoked disgraced former White House physician Ronny Jackson to make the wild claim that he’s the “healthiest” U.S. president in recent history.
Acknowledging Jackson as one of the guests, Trump recalled a time when the press asked the doctor-turned-congressman who was the healthiest of the three presidents Jackson worked for: George W. Bush, Barack Obama, or Trump.
“He said, ‘President Donald J Trump by far. If he didn’t eat junk food, he’d live to 200 years old,’” Trump claimed. “And I love this guy.”
Read the full story, [here](https://www.thedailybeast.com/bruised-trump-79-warns-hes-been-given-way-to-live-to-200/).
200 hours? 200 days?
his heart will disagree
Kim jong un type shit
Not even Satan himself could keep Trump out of Hell that long. He managed to keep Kissinger out for a full century, but that was pushing it. There’s no way Cheeto makes it another 5 years. And that’s probably being too generous.
Dementia Don is denentiaing.
That’s the biggest threat he has ever made
That would be great actually, he can rot away in prison for 120 years!
“No one lives forever, no one. But with advances in modern science and my high level income, it’s not crazy to think I can live to be 245, maybe 300.” – ~~Ricky Bobby~~ Donald Trump
I don’t disagree. The man is a human cockroach that thrives on hate. We probably will have his head in a jar, Futurama style, for the rest of eternity.
I can see Miller & Vance conspiring & giving Trump pills made of rat poison saying it’s a “Special Longevity Drug”. Bonus if the bottle is covered in gold foil.
He probably met with some Silicon Valley “Immortalists.” There’s a whole group of tech billionaires convinced that we’re at the “Escape Velocity” for aging. If Trump buys into the “Med-Bed” conspiracy theories, he’ll say anything to sound like he’s found the Holy Grail.
They are going to make a “digital self” with AI. When he goes, MAGA dies with him. Christofacianity will take a huge hit and the Grand Old Pedo party will never recover. So I promise you, AI trump is in the works.
He’s even crazier than Kim Jong Un.
Sure! Pedophile for life
Let me guess. Ivermectin?
Because there are so many people who have lived to 200 just because they eat healthy diets. Looks like *I* will live to be 200!
That would be great, 100 years in prison.
Trump’s health has been an interesting side plot. Some days he looks and sounds completely gone but other days he seems basically “fine”, faded and still saying stupid gibberish but not at death’s door.
If he does have health issues, it appears he has more or less effectively been treating/managing. Main thing with it all is that if it were as bad as some say, he’d be way further along by now. He’d be canceling golf and pressers, he’d go unseen for weeks at a time etc. Pretty much as long as he is still keeping a nominal schedule, even as light and structured as it is, he’s probably “fine”.
I don’t think anyone would be at all surprised if something just happened one day, but otherwise he may well shamble along for while yet, despite it all.
Oh so he’s dying
I hope to see this post very soon in r/agedlikemilk.
Whatever Trump says, he does the opposite.
This is a sign his last checkup didn’t go well. RfK jr is definitely going to act as his Rasputin here and sell him whatever he’ll believe to make him feel better
Oh he’s definitely been told by his doctor that he’s dying.
Since he lies about everything, I bet he’ll be dead in 3 months.