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  1. He’s 80 and his favorite food is McDonalds. Normally that would mean he’s on borrowed time at this point, but with our luck he’ll be like one of those senior citizens who drinks, smokes and eats like crap and still somehow outlives all their peers. Like those WWII vets who smoke cigars and keep the bottle of whiskey nearby. Or Keith Richards.

  2. West-Disadvantage69 on

    Turns out eating McDonald’s everyday isn’t good for the cholesterol.

  3. I’ve been hearing Trump is about to die for years dudes probably gonna live to be in his 90’s because everything is awful

  4. Motor_Somewhere7565 on

    When you eat nothing but McDonald’s and drink Diet Coke all the time while believing the concept of humans being living batteries with finite energy as your excuse not to exercise regularly, this is a given

  5. This is why he can’t stay awake; he’s not getting enough oxygen to his brain. CHF also causes blood to pool which means increased risk of stokes/CVA. He’s has that, too. I fully believe he’s in CHF.

  6. IndecorousRex on

    I have a feeling that once Trump actually does die the republicans will “weekend at Bernie’s” his ass as long as they can.

  7. ILikeBeans86 on

    There’s a new headline like this every week and guess what. That motherfucker is still alive. I’ll believe it when I see it

  8. justhavingfunMT on

    I would like to know who would be surprised by this? Who is dumb enough to be surprised that a massively unhealthy 80 year old, that happens live on a diet of McDonald’s, pedophilia, rape and grifting, has heart ssues? I’m guessing a sizeable percentage of 80 year olds have heart issues. The biggest surprise here is there were enough stupid people to think he was good for the country and that he still alive.

  9. RevolutionNumber5 on

    Guy walks into a gas station, picks up a newspaper to look at the front page.

    “Bah!” the man says, as he folds up the paper, and sets it back on the pile.

    He does the same thing the next day. And the next day. And the next.

    On the fourth day, the cashier’s curiosity gets the better of him, so the cashier says to the man “You’ve come in here the past four days to look at the newspaper, but you always put it back without buying it. What are you looking for?”

    “An obituary.” The man replies.

    “Oh,” the cashier, the cashier says, “the obituaries are a side the paper, near the back.”

    The man stares at the cashier, and replies coldly “Not the one I’m looking for.”

  10. I mean yeah, he clearly has heart failure- doesn’t mean he’s going to die quickly enough to end this national nightmare.

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